“To be or not to be”
My life has gone full circle. I never wondered that, one day I would sit in an alien country and contemplate whether I should return to India or not. Suddenly India seems to be the destination. Last week, one of my friends sent me a link to a blogger, he was bashing about all the people who are associated with a NRI. He wrote about how the NRI always complain, and how life was like hell in an alien country, how drinking tea next to a soiled street is the best thing etc. For me he is either a guy who never got is Green Card and things in US didn’t work out the way he expected or even worse, he might be a misguided “congressman” who is lost in Gandhian principles.
Self sacrifice is a misunderstood empathy. For example, I have never been to Mumbai, but I have an aversion for the city. I understand that I shouldn’t judge something or someone, if I have never experience it or them. Likewise, people talk about self sacrifice, without even experiencing the other side. Our people for the most part, want to sacrifice things in life if it didn’t work out or if they never had the opportunity to experience it. For me the blogger is someone similar, he didn’t want anything to do with the west, either because things didn’t work out for him, or by following the Gandhian principle wants to sacrifice the benefits of west with out even experiencing it.
I am not in anyway meaning that “Going back to India is a sacrifice”. People go back to India for difference reason, I for one, think that there are greater benefits for my career and there is an enormous cost benefit too. It is not a sacrifice. I am actually in position to decide what is best for me and what is not, in other words I have seen both the worlds.
Now you might wonder so what is the issue. I have 2 beautiful kids, these days they have become my world. The issue is that I could not judge the effect of me migrating back to India will have on them. I am not similar to the blogger, in the sense I don’t let my love for India affect my action. “I put my need first” there I said it. I remember back in the days, we used to split a “5 Star” chocolate between our family and keep the remaining half for tomorrow. It does not mean that I was unhappy during that stage, I was one of the happiest people on earth, but now going back to what I said earlier, I never know that there was world where you can get bag full of Hershey’s candy and let it rot.
My friend and I used to argue about this topic all the time. His argument will always be, you do what you want and kids will get adjusted as you move on in life. In other words, by living a happy and content life, if I could only send my kids for a public school then by all means that’s what I will do. My question then becomes, is that the best you can do for your kid? Being content by all means is life you choose. I respect that decision. Now when you say that, by me being content, I am going dictate how my kid are going to live, that’s something, I cannot agree.
How you live, how you eat, how you dress, all have “YOU” in it. By the time when the “YOU” become “WE”, a person starts to lose control over his self. I am not Mahatma; I do not and cannot give a better life for million people. My world is my family, as of now, that circle stops there. I do try hard to give a better life for my kids. If it means that I cannot live a content life, then by all means I want to be a greedy man.
That’s my predicament. Can I give a better life style for my kids in India? What do I need to get that life style? Will India judge me as a selfish NRI?
Self sacrifice is a misunderstood empathy. For example, I have never been to Mumbai, but I have an aversion for the city. I understand that I shouldn’t judge something or someone, if I have never experience it or them. Likewise, people talk about self sacrifice, without even experiencing the other side. Our people for the most part, want to sacrifice things in life if it didn’t work out or if they never had the opportunity to experience it. For me the blogger is someone similar, he didn’t want anything to do with the west, either because things didn’t work out for him, or by following the Gandhian principle wants to sacrifice the benefits of west with out even experiencing it.
I am not in anyway meaning that “Going back to India is a sacrifice”. People go back to India for difference reason, I for one, think that there are greater benefits for my career and there is an enormous cost benefit too. It is not a sacrifice. I am actually in position to decide what is best for me and what is not, in other words I have seen both the worlds.
Now you might wonder so what is the issue. I have 2 beautiful kids, these days they have become my world. The issue is that I could not judge the effect of me migrating back to India will have on them. I am not similar to the blogger, in the sense I don’t let my love for India affect my action. “I put my need first” there I said it. I remember back in the days, we used to split a “5 Star” chocolate between our family and keep the remaining half for tomorrow. It does not mean that I was unhappy during that stage, I was one of the happiest people on earth, but now going back to what I said earlier, I never know that there was world where you can get bag full of Hershey’s candy and let it rot.
My friend and I used to argue about this topic all the time. His argument will always be, you do what you want and kids will get adjusted as you move on in life. In other words, by living a happy and content life, if I could only send my kids for a public school then by all means that’s what I will do. My question then becomes, is that the best you can do for your kid? Being content by all means is life you choose. I respect that decision. Now when you say that, by me being content, I am going dictate how my kid are going to live, that’s something, I cannot agree.
How you live, how you eat, how you dress, all have “YOU” in it. By the time when the “YOU” become “WE”, a person starts to lose control over his self. I am not Mahatma; I do not and cannot give a better life for million people. My world is my family, as of now, that circle stops there. I do try hard to give a better life for my kids. If it means that I cannot live a content life, then by all means I want to be a greedy man.
That’s my predicament. Can I give a better life style for my kids in India? What do I need to get that life style? Will India judge me as a selfish NRI?
Comments
Nevertheless wherever you are your indian roots will lie here, give the opportunity to your children to see and know and learn indianess. thats all they need. they are better off in the states with better education, facilities and lesser influence of corrupting factors like communalism, casteism, racism, pollution, i can keep naming but i dont want to look like an indian basher because im not one.
my point is we are already fighting a war here, to change things. dont get involved in the fight since we have no clue of the outcome although we hope for the best. whats wise is for you to help us from the outside and work smart.
come to india for a vacation, fund charitable organizations that dont have a religious background but purely are here for service.
there is no need for you to risk your children for your personal beliefs or experiments. deep inside you know USA is safer and better than here, thats the point im trying to drive. a well taught and well bred kid will grown up to be a good indian regardless of where he is or what he is subject to.
i have countless examples of such kids and i can refer them if you may want to interact. good like, remember... you are indeed the very best dad on planet earth! :-D every dad is!!!